


I Am Iron Man

by thelosthours



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers Family, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, I Made Myself Cry, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Thanos (Marvel) Dies, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 15:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18594529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelosthours/pseuds/thelosthours
Summary: (Contains spoilers for Avengers: Endgame. Don’t read if you don’t want to be spoiled. I implore you to listen to the song “listen before I go” or “I Love You” by Billie Eilish while reading for added effect).Tony raised a gauntlet covered hand showcasing all six infinity stones and said, "I am Iron Man." There were tears brimming his eyes threatening to fill over. Staring into Thanos' eyes, he snapped his fingers.





	I Am Iron Man

**Author's Note:**

> I implore you to listen to the song “listen before I go” or “I Love You” by Billie Eilish while reading for added effect.

 

_Take me to the rooftop_

_I wanna see the world when I stop breathin' . .  ._

_Turning blue_

 

_Tell me love is endless_

_Don't be so pretentious._

_Leave me, like you do._

 

_If you need me_

_Wanna see me_

_You better hurry_

_'Cause I'm leaving soon._

 

Tony raised a gauntlet covered hand showcasing all six infinity stones and said, "I am Iron Man." There were tears brimming his eyes threatening to fill over. Staring into Thanos' eyes, he snapped his fingers.

Tony stared into the abyss. A deep emptiness filled his very core and he was void of all emotion. Death consumed him and he took his last breath staring into the eyes of Thanos, who looked back at him and felt nothing. He didn't feel sorry for anything that he had done. He had torn apart a means of a revolution and a family that was just learning to understand and care for one another like they should.

The blue glow of the arc reactor in Tony's chest gave out. The light faded into nothingness and Tony fell to his knees and then toppled over, flat on the ground. He had chosen to sacrifice himself for the greater good like he was meant to. That was the reason that he had become Iron Man. He sacrificed everything to save everyone that he could. He cared too much, more then people thought possible of him. He loved deeply, and those capable of receiving his love were worth more to him than his own life.

He welcomed death freely.

 

_I'm not okay, I feel so scattered. Don't say I'm all that matters. Leave me, deja vu._

 

"Mr. Stark!" yelled Peter, rushing to Tony's side, pulling his lip form into his arms. His eyes were clouded with misty tears that trailed freely down the length of his face. He didn't know how to feel. He lost his mentor and the only other family, besides May, that he had had. "No," he begged. "No. No. No. You're okay. You're gonna be fine," he reassured Tony, running a hand through his hair. But the words were more for him than Tony, because he knew deep down that he was already gone. He was just in denial.

He refused to believe it.

He pulled Tony's lifeless form close, holding him tightly and refusing to let go. He was helpless. He didn't know what to do. There were so many thoughts going through his head, coming up with so many ways that he could have prevented this, each one making him feel worse and worse because he hadn't made them come to fruition.

 _It should have been me_ , he thought. He rested his forehead against Tony's, which was rapidly growing cold as the warmth of life left his body. "I'm sorry," he said. His voice nothing but a whisper. "it should have been me. It should have been me. It should have been me." He kept saying the words over and over again like a mantra.

He knew that he shouldn't think that, but it was true. He was in the way. He wasn't even supposed to be there, but he just had to defy Mr. Stark's orders. He messed everything up. Sobs wracked through his body and he choked on them, not even trying to conceal or hide them. He was broken and he didn't care who knew.

He no longer had a mentor and the realization of that hurt like hell.

"I love you," said Peter, the words a whispered confession sacred between only him and Mr. Stark's empty vessel. "I'm sorry."

He hid his face in the crook of Tony's neck, hot wet tears wetting his skin. And then . . . Tony's vessel disintegrated into nothing but ash, blowing away with the wind and a choked sob fell from Peter's lips. "No!" he pleaded, reaching for the ash, but it was too late.

He stared into the void for a few moments, then looked down at the ground where Tony had once been, lying lifelessly. And then he looked down at his hands that were stained with remnants of ash. The sight only made him cry harder. He wanted to scream, but the sound was stuck in his throat.

Someone rested a hand on his shoulders, a means to comfort him, but it did nothing. All he wanted was for all of this to be some sick joke and for Tony's ashes to somehow meld back together and him return alive and well. But Peter knew that that was too good to be true.

“Mr. Stark,” Peter said to himself, burying his head into his arms. “I’m sorry,” he said one last time. He’d never be done apologizing. He would carry this burden for as long as he lived. Nothing could fix this. Not even May.

Someone pulled him in their arms and hugged him, trying to reassure him that everything would be okay, but he knew that that was far from the truth. He melted into their arms, too tired try and break away from their embrace. He was broken and exhausted for anything.

He closed his eyes and Tony’s death played on a continuous loop on his eyelids like a projector on a projection screen.

It haunted him. His thoughts, his mind, his dreams. He’d never get over it.

_I’m sorry._

 

_Sorry, can't save me now._

_Sorry, I don't know how._

_Sorry, there's no way out._

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: brokenmasterpiece.tumblr.com
> 
> Twitter: @thelosthours13
> 
> Instagram: @thelosthours
> 
> If you liked it please leave kudos and a comment. I would love to know what you thought about it.


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